The THINGS that came in from the cold – poem by Matt Harvey

 

There have always been Things, and the Things there have been

– the simplest tool, the most complex machine –

 

Did their own private thing, and they did it quite well

But each lived alone in a separate cell

 

Things were solitary all on their tod, set apart

Until wonder of wonders, one day Things became ‘Smart’

 

An uppity interweb chappie equipped

Each Thing with its very own Thingummy Chip

 

And now they’re awake, though they’re not quite sure how

They’ve evolved from ‘just-sat-there’ to ‘smarter-than-thou’

 

Since each Chip is imbued with an embedded sensor

Their immense potential’s exponentially immenser

 

It’s almost like sci-fi, they’re au fait with wifi

Can act as a gopher while you loaf on your sofa

 

Gossiping gadgets and whispering widgets

And all within reach of our fidgeting digits

 

There’s a linking that’s almost like thinking – but far less confused

There’s a digging for data – though phishing’s politely refused

 

For if and when mischievous hackery threatens

Things can all be restored to their factory settings

 

They’re wearably share-ably bridging the gaps

Wirelessly tirelessly – not needing naps

 

They’re awake on the line between Always and Never

They may not be conscious, but my word they’re clever

 

You enter a building, it knows who you are

And next to whose Audi you’ve just parked your car

 

It knows what you’re wearing, it knows where you went

To buy it, what else you bought, how much you spent

 

Without being untoward or indiscreet,

It knows who’s around that you might like to meet

 

And it might engineer a chance meeting or two

It’s ever so keen to arrange things for you…

 

Because Things can now, with due diligent deference

Anticipate your every want, need and preference

 

Things are sharing our track-able, digital traces

On a need-to-know and a need-not-to-know basis

 

This audited, ordered, inaudible chorus

Is doing our knowing and not-knowing for us!

 

BUT, you ask, is this good for my health? – A no-brainer:

Your fridge is in touch with your personal trainer

 

Your GP’s in the loop with your heart’s smart pace-maker

Which has access – trust me – to all relevant data

 

From your own un-despicable, biddable minions

Long on loyalty and, thankfully, short on opinions

 

Who’ll do as they’re told and they’re told SO MUCH MORE

Who – unlike their creators – know what to ignore

 

Even when sitting there not doing much

They are quietly, busily, keeping in touch

 

Thing one with Thing two, with Things three, four, five, six

Things seven through ninety-nine join in the mix

 

In clumps and in clusters, in clubs and in cliques

Each listening in when another Thing speaks

 

And though it seems slightly numerically gimmicky

Things a hundred to ninety-nine shy of infinity

 

Yes a Million. Billion, Trillion Things

Join hands – or whatever – and light up and SING!

 

Your smart whole’s connected to your smart part

Your smart head’s connected to your smart heart

Your smart work’s connected to your smart home

You got the whole world in your phone…

 

If the signal should weaken an IPv6 booster

Will keep Smart Things speaking – like Jeeves to our Wooster

 

I’ve heard this Jeeves speak and here’s what he said:

“Don’t trouble your sweet homo sapiens head

 

If Things get on top of you, don’t fret or fuss

For Ours is the Thingdom – leave it with Us”

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